Poems by Anne-Maire
Home The Fictions Articles The Facts Life Stories Poems etc. Herbs etc. Forum Links
"Mixed Emotions..."

Mixed emotions are whirling around
Just Can't think or settle it down
confusion inside illusions I see
I'm not even sure who is me 

Am I me or who am I
I sit and ponder as I will cry
One day I am up the next day I'm down
like an endless circle around and around
when will it stop, when will I find
That peace that will lay inside of my mind
when will it go, or will it just stay 

I'm locked in the darkness, make it go away
I reach for the light, my hands almost touch
I miss who I am, I miss it so much
I try and I try so hard with my might 

I struggle and turn but the grip is too tight
I drop to the floor, wish I would be freed
I raise up my hands for the sign I might see
For now I will be lost, tangled in webs 

I will wipe all the tears my body just shed
Put on a smile, for all the world to see
When I'm crying inside, no one really knows me.
 

I am calling...
Do you hear me? 

I am reaching...
Yet you walk away! 

I am asking...
But your eye's are closed. 

I am in PAIN...
Do you believe me? 

I am human...
Should I suffer? 

I am human...
Closed in four walls. 

I am human...
I am now helpless. 

I am human....
still pushed away! 

Do you see...
My spirit slowly dying? 

Do you see...
I have no smile. 

Do you see...
The pain I feel? 

Do you see...
This pain is real? 

Put Yourself...
In my shoes. 

Put Yourself...
In my tears. 

Put Yourself...
In my limitations. 

WELCOME TO ... MY WORLD
 

Bits and pieces of shattered glass, falling though your finger tips.
Harsh words said, slamming doors as I shake inside, out side still. 

Hollow echoes inside my head, voices repeating over and over.
Closing down, shutting down, as I turn my head and look away. 

Looking for a hand to hold, no one reaches out for me to touch.
Laughing out side, smiling to the world, crying and dying my spirit wilts.
Thirsty for love, my lips are so dry, casting shadows of darkness all around. 

Pain is do deep, cutting me down, cutting me down, filled with quick sand.
Bolted doors no keys to get out, screaming inside open spaces no way out. 

I can not breathe, I can not speak, I can not cry, my emotions are faded.
Like brittle fall leaves, like broken glass, blacken days whispers inside.
You are still here, come out......you are still here ........come out.

This is something that just flowed out. It is from many years of pain that is always a part of who I am. I have lived a long hard life and in the process of healing. Everyday is a new day no matter what we think inside we are still alive. We can breathe and get out of the pits that life seems to set us in. 

Just because we have lived in dark days does not mean we will never see the sun. It is just some days it never seems to shine, like it does not even exist. Like I told a friend of mine. We all start out a solid piece of glass. In life on our travels we get broken in one way or another. It is up to us to bond the bits together to make it whole again. It is never solid again. But neither is Stained Glass and it is full of color and when that light shines through the world is right again.
 

Hugs to all
Anne-Marie

Printed with permission